How “you” can change boring copy

A recent post on Velocity brings up a good point about most B2B technology copywriting – it’s boring.

Why is it boring?

  • It’s written in passive voice.
  • It’s full of industry jargon.
  • It’s abstract instead of concrete.
  • It’s all written in the third person.

“The best copywriting looks the prospect squarely in the eye and says, ‘I’m going to sell to you and you’re going to enjoy it.’”

Take some of your copywriting and try speaking to your customer in a way that they will listen – use the word “you.”

Speaking directly to your reader by using “you” creates copy that is engaging, more conversational and personal. While it may not be appropriate in all situations, it can help you target specific audiences and will help your readers hear a clearer, more direct message.

Test it out on some of your copy pieces. Write two versions, one in third person, the other in second (you). Then, let someone outside of your office read it, preferably someone who is completely unfamiliar with what you sell (for example, Mom or your teenage son). Tally up the votes and find out which version does better.


One response to “How “you” can change boring copy

  1. I use for all of my marketing copywriting needs. Her service has never wavered from being anything but the best! I do personally think that making the reader feel like #1 is the best- so you are correct in stating you should use the words, “you” and so forth. This brings it all down to an eye to eye playing field and will get the consumer to best understand why the product is so much better for them!

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